Who’s to Blame


Hi all, on this cozy Tuesday night.  I had an interesting conversation with my mom about an incident that caused a woman who in this case was considered the wife…. to pursue the “other woman” that came between her relationship with her husband.   We both agreed that the “other woman” should have not been seeing the husband…. the question was: When is it okay for the wife to go after the “other woman”?  After all, it takes two …right?  My question is: Why do woman who are hurt in relationships go after the “other woman”?  What about the actual partner? (The person who cheated)

Poetic Intro:

There is nothing like a scorn woman, who feeds on fire, with eyes of steel.  Although you climb to the window seal; you cannot see pass the glass…In this case, there are two, but no one knew, because the fire was shot at the reflection, with objection…because the target hides behind the bull to eye again…because he/she never paid for the first sin. But why do you cry tears of grief, and not release…. for your burden was taken from you…yet you hold on to pain… with nothing more to gain… than more pain. It’s all in your head, he said/she said yet you go to bed alone…counting restless sheep wondering when he/she is coming home.

Is it okay for the wife/husband to try to sabotage the “other woman/man’s” career, or reputation in the community? Is it okay for the “other man/woman” to try to physically attack the other person involved in the relationship?  Who is at fault? Why isn’t anyone directing blame toward the actual cheater in the marriage?

Here’s a quick look at some shocking statistics provided by the Divorcestatistics.info before you reach your conclusion:

The report suggests that 14% of women have participated in affairs outside of their marriage

17% percent fess up to having an affair with and in-law (men and women)

2 to 3% of children are raised by men who are not their biological fathers due to affairs


Suggests that 1 out of 4 men have experienced some type of physical abuse from a romantic partner

Ncadv.org also suggest that 19% of incidents that include domestic violence consist of weapon use


Soooooo, how do we prevent these things from happening:

The Attraction Doctor, Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D., reportedly suggest implementing an option through communication that would be considered the act of loving, and caring for your spouse. Other options he suggested included staying in shape or improving the outward appearance, and showing appreciation through rewards in the relationship.  To review the full article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201401/how-prevent-infidelity-and-adultery

Please feel free to visit the comment section under all blog topics for more interesting discussions.

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2 thoughts on “Who’s to Blame

  1. As women we are naturally emotional creatures.We have a tendency to love hard so when you come across a situation where your partner is cheating, it is only natural to feel the need to destroy what is standing in the way of your happy home, initially. The feelings of anger and betrayal are usually displaced and wind up being directed at the wrong person which could easily be solved with taking a moment to realize you deserve better than a cheater…and in the process of getting rid of that cheating,dirty spouse,
    I would happily direct all those hasty feelings towards finding a new love, new life, and moving on.


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